Category: Trial of Love

I hope you had an enjoyable and happy mother’s day. I’m sure you miss your boys at times and are happy to hear from them. I hope you had enjoyment.

I keep trying to write, and then deleting because I don’t like what I write.

Be well, enjoy life.

“In my heart I love her all the time.” F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

I hope you have a good day with family and friends. Be well and enjoy spring. Heavy rain and minor flooding here.

Six years ago I kissed my angel. I remember our first kiss. Walking to dinner together, conversation, food, and laughs.

It’s been so long without her.

That I still love you? That I miss you? You know those things are true. But you are married now.

I never loved you more when….

I never loved you more than when I helped you pack up and move away. I knew that was going to be heartbreaking for me. But more important than what I wanted, was (and is) your happiness. I knew you had to follow your dream. I never gave up on you.

Yes, I am jealous

I am jealous and sad that you have something now that you couldn’t have with me. Maybe you are a different person now. But, it breaks my heart to think about you being married to someone else. I wanted that for us, for me.  I wanted you to be mine.

 

I hope you have found happiness in your life.

thinking about you not thinking about me.

I dream of you. This morning I was dreaming (or maybe remembering) the night you left me. I was devastated. I woke up feeling this way.

Although we’ve never been together on Valentines Day, I have tried to make your days better. But this year, it is different. There is someone else in your life that loves you.

I am sad, and I just don’t know how to get past it.

I only ever made you sad.

missing you.

So, you are married. I really do wish you happiness and well being. It is what I always wanted most for you. Of course, I was hoping you would be happy with me…. but that ship sailed a long time ago.

Your marriage (to someone else) marks the end of this adventure. I can now let go of silly hope and foolish wonder. I can let it all be in the past and know it will finally stay there and has no hope of coming ’round again.

I truly hope you are happy and loved. (I mean it, I really do.) Your happiness will outweigh the sorrow and sadness I feel and have felt these last four and a half years.  Because, then my sorrow would have been for good cause. My efforts – to help you when I could, to pack you up and move you away from me, to encourage and support you, to cry with you – would all be worth while to bring you happiness.

You were my true love. I shall never forget your kindness and tenderness. I will always remember how you bared yourself emotionally to me. I will cherish the joys you have given me until I die. I know you don’t believe I loved you or you don’t understand why. But, I remind you with this post, Why I Love You.

Well, that was news. I should not be surprised. I was working on a (graphic) post of how much I miss you and your body. I’m glad now that I hadn’t posted it.

I tossed and turned a lot last night. Much on my mind, but I’m not sure why. Really, nothing has changed.

I hope you have a wonderful vacation. I’ll post something for your return.

Be well.

P.S. You suck. (lol)