Wednesday, 9:30 pm
Dear, we talked on the phone tonight, and at one point you said you might surprise me. I hope you pleasantly surprise me by deciding to date me. Please, please, don’t give me false hope! I don’t think I could survive the heartache again. I love you and want you. But, I fear being just a stop on the K-train. I want it all, the true commitment to work towards happily ever-after, or whatever version of that we carve out for ourselves (together). I still believe it is possible to be in love and work together towards a future.
My lessons in patience are coming along, and although I need a more concrete, black-and-white action in my life than you do, I can try to “go with the flow” and be patient. I hope to stay connected enough to allow you to fall in love with me, but not hold on so tightly that I choke away our friendship. You have been in this situation yourself, waiting to see if good will happen. Will I be the heart-broken fool? Please don’t hurt me. I love you. Good night.
