That I still love you? That I miss you? You know those things are true. But you are married now.
I never loved you more when….
I never loved you more than when I helped you pack up and move away. I knew that was going to be heartbreaking for me. But more important than what I wanted, was (and is) your happiness. I knew you had to follow your dream. I never gave up on you.
Yes, I am jealous
I am jealous and sad that you have something now that you couldn’t have with me. Maybe you are a different person now. But, it breaks my heart to think about you being married to someone else. I wanted that for us, for me. I wanted you to be mine.
You moved on too! You have J. You are living together, how is that so different than me being with someone. Are you open and honest with her about how you feel or felt about me?
I’m sorry I interrupted your day. I will not do that again…..
Another thing, there was no way you would’ve or could’ve moved away from “home”. Your situation, your son, whatever, it would always be something keeping you there. I finally have my career back. If I stayed where I was I would still be struggling financially, unhappy in a dead end job. If moving was wrong then I am guilty, but I am finally happy with that part of my life. Everything else may be shit, but at least when I am at work I don’t need to pretend to be happy. I don’t need to be the spouse or companion, I am just me and I am happy being that!
You’re right. I am anchored here. I never said you were wrong. I said you were right to follow your dreams. I support you in that. I don’t want you to feel defensive or like I’m challenging your decisions.
You were once in the same place I am [emotionally]. How do you respond to the person you love that has left and moved on?
I am perhaps more honest with J than with myself. I have said I love you but you’re never coming back. I need to accept that for myself. Doesn’t change that I have regrets. I do wish you well and happiness. I’m just not sure I can be a part of that.
Ok. I understand….
You understand, but how did you move on? Or, did you move on? Am I to be stuck in this place always lost?