I’m sorry I’ve been so distant and haven’t written. As you know, lots going on here with building and moving. This past two weeks has been hell. The project is 10 weeks behind schedule. The builder barely made the complete date for the addition but the remodel is far from done.
The old man is grumpy and mean. I know it’s a lot for him….. but it is a lot for me too. I’ve been working and doing what he needs and trying to keep my head above water with my tasks. There have been lots of 16+ hour days with dinner after 9p. I’m not an early bird so getting up at 6a for builders isn’t fun either.
All this has me second guessing if I did the right thing. I can see my father is actually failing more than we thought. He has about 5 or 6 hours a day that he is functional. He is in bed the rest of the time.
His demands are wearing thin. He complains about having to ‘live out of boxes’ but he refuses any help to unpack. In reality, he has been living out of boxes for years because he doesn’t have any real furniture. The bed we bought for him to move in may be the first bed he has had in a few years. In his old place, he was using a futon frame with piles of blankets on it. – That place was so disgusting. It hadn’t been cleaned in a decade.
I’m back at it this morning. Today’s list is moving my youngest then off to the hardware store for a shower head adapter, additional shower grab bar, stud finder to install shelves, and some wood for the shelves.
Tomorrow will be more of the same. I have two new washers in the house but they are not hooked up. The plumber was supposed to be here yesterday but he didn’t show up. The rough-in is done, but the final connection isn’t made. So, I’ll be doing it myself if I can.
Sometimes at night, I wake up at 4 or so, and think how this could have been all different if I had the guts to follow you. But I doubt it would have worked.
I wish you well and I’ll try to get back to a more normal life where we can chat. I hope you are keeping yourself safe.
- Love always
Have you ever said “NO”? Without an explanation, just “NO”? I am working on it. My therapist is pushing me to say it more often. I think you need to try it.
Where are you sisters? One is trained for dealing with situations like your dad. Her house is huge, she has the monetary resources, why isn’t he living with her?
Why did you have to move your youngest? I know he is fragile, and can’t handle life, but do you think you will have to handle everything for him, forever?
I don’t think it would’ve worked if you moved. You would’ve had to be back home to take care of your entire family. My big question is: who is taking care of you? When you’re not saving the business, you are saving a child or parent. When you weren’t saving everyone else you were saving me. You need to save you! You are worth saving.
I miss having someone to talk to!
Sorry, I’m in all out bitch mode right now. Yesterday he was a dick to me in the grocery store. I started walking home. I got 2 miles before he picked me up. My ankle, which was finally feeling better(70% improvement) and now it’s killing me. I haven’t eaten in 17 hours. I am feeling so trapped.