Trial of Love

You said the other day that I was being distant. I felt you were being distant and have been distant for some time. I have been trying to just take it as it comes and not push.

I know you have lots on your mind and going on in your life that doesn’t involve me (but I do care about). I have been trying to give you the space you asked for when you came back from vacation.

Lately it seems I am bothering you. You no longer seem to want me to visit during the day and don’t seem to care to chat, talk, or really be together. I tried to engage you today on Facebook and by text. I know you were resting, but your comment that you had to be really bored to text me just cut the wrong way.

The distance to go your house tonight was not an issue for me. Even though you would be asleep when I arrived, I still wanted to come up just to ride to work together. But I get the feeling (strong feeling( that you just don’t want me around. I hope I’m wrong.

I do love you. I think there is something here worth working to keep.

1 comment: Her – Yes, I am.distant. Its because I feel I am somewhere that I am not sure I want to be. You know you want and I am starting to feel you expect me to be in the same place as you….I am not. 11/15/2014

I missed you while you were away. It gave me time to reflect on our journey together so far, and what I thought would be next steps. However I sense reluctance from you about moving forward from here.

Its not the time we spent apart, but your reactions to the time we are spending together. Maybe we just need to re-adjust or get back in sync. But somehow it feels different. The language you use is different. Even planning ahead for the next day seems labored and unwelcome – like you don’t want to think about it.

I hope its just me being too sensitive to little things that really mean nothing. I love you, but I am feeling a bit blue.

1 Comment: Her – It is reluctance your are feeling. A few things happened while I was away and I am trying to figure out how to handle them with you, not handle you. I am trying to deal with my issues and not flake out on you, but you get a little over bearing and you pout, and I don’t deal with that well. If you would let us talk it will be better…..if you actually listen to what we BOTH say it will go well and may be productive for both of us……but you are very stubborn sometimes and only listen for the things that work for you. Maybe I am being selfish, but I want to be happy……I want you to be happy too. 10/14/2014

Dearest,

I’m sorry our last night together was not very romantic or even enjoyable.

I will miss you as you are on vacation and visiting family. I do wish I could have gone and did look into time off and flights, but it was just not meant to be this time.

I dropped you off at the airport today and I already miss being with you. I enjoy our weekends of being together and just doing the mundane tasks with each other.

You take good care of your turtles and I will take care of the other two.

I love you!

1 Comment: Her – I enjoyed seeing you sleeping on my bed last night….I am glad you are comfortable. I want normal…..you call it mundane. Good night! 10/4/2014

9/17/2014

Dearest,

It has been a busy week away from you, but I miss you every moment. I know we can talk and text nearly anytime, but that is not the same as seeing you at lunch and holding you at night.

Yes, I can survive – as can you – but it is not nearly as nice as being with you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and I am certainly fond of you.

I hope you know I missed being with you this week, and I’ll miss being with you in October. Thank you for convincing me to go to the concert.

I will be glad to be home tomorrow night. Although late, it will be nice to crawl into bed with you and hold you tight. I am sorry you have two long days ahead of you. But we will get to spend some time together this weekend.

I love you – always.

Dearest,

Its been ten days (so I’ve been reminded) since posting.

• I wish I could give you all you need.
• I wish I could take us on vacation.
• I wish I could turn the alarm off and stay with you in bed.
• I wish I could go with you to the wedding.
• I wish I could bring you with me to Boston.
• I wish I could calm your fears.
• I wish I could capture your heart.
• I wish I could promise our future will always be easy.
• I wish I could be with you forever.
• I know I love you. My heart is full.

I look forward to every day with you.

1 Comment: Her – It sounds like you will miss HER while you are away! Sleep sweet! She loves you! 9/14/14

Dearest,

We’ve been together for the past seven days and seven nights. It seems so natural to be with you and have you by my side. I know we still need to work our some of our dance. But I think we are doing just fine as we work to cut our own path and fit ourselves together.

You are proof of the power and persistence of love. I’m not sure how I knew it, but I did know when we first met that there was something different between us that had real potential to be true and last. I tried to take your advice and Matt’s advice, but my heart knew that you were the one I would love.

Please know I am happy. Sometimes you think I look sad or lost. It is just me relaxing in the moment of being with you.

All my love and happiness looking to our future – together.

My love,

Do we risk ourselves to dream? Can you dream about something better without questioning what you have or where you are. I am not where I ever dreamed I would be in life. My life has been full of hardships and disappointments – many of my own doing, and some not. But if not for all that has happened, I would not have found you!

Dare I dream about future? About more? I truly understand that daring to dream is also a measure of where we are. We must acknowledge our sorrows to feel happiness. You inspire me to dream that life can be more, better, and even happy. So yes, I dare to dream of you and our future.

Is it so bad to fall in love? Not that thing you thought was love before, but true love. The love that let’s you be yourself without fear, and says it’s ok to be apart because you keep connected.

Here’s to doing it right- not slow or fast, but right. And finding our way together.

All my love to you.

Hi,

We were texting and then sudden -nothing. Did I do something to make you mad? Did your phone die? Or network problems?

I’ve gotten so used to immediate feedback and connection that when I don’t get a quick response I wonder what’s wrong.

Tonight, I’ll just guess it’s technology’s fault.

Love you!

Yes, this is the best thing! The simple act of thank you has made my day. I liked that “caring” was first on the list (until you ran out of room and added “rides” above it.)

All my love to you.