It is a little after 11 on a Thursday night. We both worked late and we’re about to go to bed together in your apartment. We crawl into bed and I hold you in my arms. You push your hips back into me. I whisper in your ear, “if you do that again I’m going to pull your shorts off and take you any way I want.” You push back into me twice more.
I roll you onto your back and pull off your shorts as I kiss you. I pull off my boxers as I climb between your legs. You grab me, guiding me towards you….to enter you. I look in your eyes.
I wake up.
That was five years ago.
This memory still comes in my dreams. I wake up and my arms long to hold you. My heart misses you. And my body desires you.
It’s Thursday night.
I am sorry. Not for the memory itself, because that sounds pretty incredible, but because you are left longing for more. More was something that I don’t have to give. I keep letting the wrong people back into my life, I’m not sure why……
I will be back soon, I will message or text you with the details.
I’m not sorry for the memory, or for wanting you. I’m sure not sorry I love you.
Not much I can say to that, now can I?