Category: Trial of Love

I know its silly of me to miss you so. Even if you still lived here you wouldn’t be dating me. But I do miss you. Having you in my life added purpose and meaning.

I still drive by the bank, but don’t bother to look.

I think about texting you “good morning” or “goodnight” but feel I am intruding or interrupting.

I look at Facebook to see if you are having fun and getting on with life. I wonder if I overstep when I like something you post. Is it too much?

I work until exhaustion hoping to just sleep, but sleep doesn’t come easily. I lay there and wonder how you are.

Just foolish me.

Its been a week since you left. Thank you for letting me spend your last day here with you. It was worth the packing boxes. lol

I was so tired that night, but I really did want to just keep holding you. I’m glad I got to spend the time with you, and yes, I am glad we were intimate. It at least let me feel you want me sometimes.

The past few days have been dark for me. I’ve been missing you and afraid that our friendship will all but end. Work has been more stressful than normal and I’m sure even you are sick of hearing about it. If it weren’t for the dog, I probably would not have gotten out of bed today.

I hope we can catch up by phone sometime. I’d like to hear how you are doing and feeling. I could use your good news!

All my best.

It’s hard to believe it’s been a week. You’ve been busy moving on with your life. I thank you for letting me spend your last day in town with you. It was worth having to help you pack.

I’m glad we held each other and had a few minutes to be intimate. It did make it easier for me to feel that you still want me in some ways.

I hope we can stay in touch and be friends.

My love to you always.

She likes her coffee cream, no sugar.
Her favorite jewelry is not gold, but platinum, and amethyst.
Her laugh is music, and it lights up her eyes.
Her heart beats cautiously, and guarded.
Her kisses are sweet, but she does not kiss in public.
I am proud of her, and all she is.
She has but one flaw. All else is character.
I want her every hour of every day.

But, her flaw, she did not fall in love with me.

1 Comment:

her  8/7/2015 12:50:58 pm
Your blogs have been very sweet and kind. I wanted you to know that I have been visiting.

I pretended you were just on vacation, not gone.

I am the past, a memory,
soon to be distant and faded.

This is where you come from,
not where you are going.

Perhaps a lesson learned,
or a feeling awakened.

May you always have love in your life
as you move away from here and to your future.

If history repeats itself,
I hope you repeat a journey with me.

I will truly love you
for the remainder of my life.

You asked if I would forget you. Stop thinking about you. I told you I could never forget you and that I think about you every day. And maybe there will come a time where I don’t think about you every day, but only some days. Maybe there will come a time when my heart doesn’t ache for you – but that time seems impossible.

But, will you forget me? Will you move away and erase me from your thoughts? Will you stop thinking about me? I know you have a lot going on and both the excitement and fear of moving can be overwhelming.

I will not forget you. I haven’t stopped loving you.

I say I love you because I am trying to comfort you. I wish you could feel secure in that. I say I love you so you feel cared about, cared for, and know that you are lovable and deserve to be loved.

And because I love you, I will support your moving to a new life and and new employment. I know you need to this.

And no, you don’t need to ask if you fail will I rescue you – for two reasons. First, you won’t fail. You may struggle and be unhappy at times. But, I believe in you and I know you are a strong person – stronger than me. I know you will succeed.

And secondly, of course you can come back any time you want. I would never turn you away. But I won’t be hoping for failure to get you back.

I can’t stop lovin’ you
And no matter what you say or do
You know my heart is true, oh
I can’t stop lovin’ you

Oh, I’m twisted and tied
And all I can remember
Is how hard we tried
Only to surrender

And when it’s over
I know how it’s gonna be
And true love will never die
No, not fade away

I can’t stop lovin’ you
And no matter what you say or do
You know my heart is true, oh
I can’t stop lovin’ you

I was so wrapped up in my own hurt, feeling rejected by you that I never considered you would feel rejected by me. I am sorry. I love you and never meant to hurt your feelings.

1 Comment:

her 6/26/2015 10:46:02 pm
Maybe someday you will look beyond your hurt and realize that you can’t always use that as an excuse to treat others poorly. Maybe one day you will say….I know I hurt, but maybe it is more than about me. Maybe I need to stop hurting others.

I have been very clear about my feelings and I know they are not similar to yours, but you cannot go into a relationship expecting the other person to change and be who you want them to be. Or feel the way you want them to feel. I cannot change you and you cannot change me.

Yes, no matter what happens…..I am leaving no later than 7/31.