Author: Him

I think your life is grand, or at least much more ‘grand’ that it was.

You’ve come a long way

Remember where you started, the struggles. The challenge to live on $4 a day. Not having any reserves to fix your car or pay an unexpected bill. Yes, you’ve made great strides at improving your life, moving from difficult to comfortable.

Celebrate following your dreams

You set goals for your life, your career and you are succeeding. You are making it happen. Sure, not everything goes according to plan or at the right time. But, you’ve done it. You took back your life, your career. So, yes, your life is grand. You’ve found someone that loves you and that you love enough to marry. Sure, maybe not perfect, but what you wanted at the time.

I see you smile, I hear your voice

You look happy. You have the job, the car, remodeling the house (like you wanted to do), and things in your life are much better than they were. And probably better than they ever could have been here with me.

I hear your voice and I hear happiness, even when complaining about contractors and crummy paint jobs. You have a lot to be happy about. You worked hard for this.

Leaving the past behind

The past is just that… I should not be dangling strings of regret or despair from the past, but I should celebrate you chasing your dreams and reaching your goals. It serves no good to bring up history. We should just move forward. Things are the way they are for a reason.

I will always love you

While there is no reason to look back to our past, the fact is I will always love you. I try to be grateful for the times we had together. I have been counting the days to send you a birthday card—to remind you I still care.

Be well, and I look forward to seeing you in July. Let me know what day/time works for you and I’ll try to make as much time as possible.

I hope you had an enjoyable and happy mother’s day. I’m sure you miss your boys at times and are happy to hear from them. I hope you had enjoyment.

I keep trying to write, and then deleting because I don’t like what I write.

Be well, enjoy life.

“In my heart I love her all the time.” F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

I hope you have a good day with family and friends. Be well and enjoy spring. Heavy rain and minor flooding here.

Six years ago I kissed my angel. I remember our first kiss. Walking to dinner together, conversation, food, and laughs.

It’s been so long without her.

That I still love you? That I miss you? You know those things are true. But you are married now.

I never loved you more when….

I never loved you more than when I helped you pack up and move away. I knew that was going to be heartbreaking for me. But more important than what I wanted, was (and is) your happiness. I knew you had to follow your dream. I never gave up on you.

Yes, I am jealous

I am jealous and sad that you have something now that you couldn’t have with me. Maybe you are a different person now. But, it breaks my heart to think about you being married to someone else. I wanted that for us, for me.  I wanted you to be mine.

I hope you have found happiness in your life.

thinking about you not thinking about me.

I dream of you. This morning I was dreaming (or maybe remembering) the night you left me. I was devastated. I woke up feeling this way.

Although we’ve never been together on Valentines Day, I have tried to make your days better. But this year, it is different. There is someone else in your life that loves you.

I am sad, and I just don’t know how to get past it.

I only ever made you sad.

missing you.

So, you are married. I really do wish you happiness and well being. It is what I always wanted most for you. Of course, I was hoping you would be happy with me…. but that ship sailed a long time ago.

Your marriage (to someone else) marks the end of this adventure. I can now let go of silly hope and foolish wonder. I can let it all be in the past and know it will finally stay there and has no hope of coming ’round again.

I truly hope you are happy and loved. (I mean it, I really do.) Your happiness will outweigh the sorrow and sadness I feel and have felt these last four and a half years.  Because, then my sorrow would have been for good cause. My efforts – to help you when I could, to pack you up and move you away from me, to encourage and support you, to cry with you – would all be worth while to bring you happiness.

You were my true love. I shall never forget your kindness and tenderness. I will always remember how you bared yourself emotionally to me. I will cherish the joys you have given me until I die. I know you don’t believe I loved you or you don’t understand why. But, I remind you with this post, Why I Love You.