Month: April 2020

I didn’t sleep last night. Just tossing and turning. This seems to be normal now.

Sometimes I write just to get things out. I’m tired of keeping things inside. But, there are many things I must keep to myself. No one would understand my feelings after so long.

There is a part of me that still believes we will be together someday. But, you have made it clear that won’t happen. You are married, and in love. I heard that in your voice last night. Still, I keep hoping for someday. Or maybe in a next life (if there is such a thing).

I also understand that our current situations are not all we hoped they would be.

I can’t help but remember how well we fit together at night. How easy it was to hold you. But, relationships are a negotiation. Get something, give something up. Too bad it seems we’ve both given up frequent sex. (I can’t help but smile when I think about how we were. I hope you enjoyed it.)

So, I understand when you need to vent. I also appreciate your trying to stay positive.

Maybe someday I’ll give up the silly notion of us being together.

So, that was a surprising text to wake up to Sunday morning.

"...I'm ready to come back to..."

I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Are you really thinking about coming home? Or is this just me taking something out of context? Not following the joke?

Spring here is depressing. Besides all the coronavirus crap – which has a significant impact – the rest of spring is pretty drab as well.

All of my relatives are isolating, and a few are sick but not likely COVID-19. More apt to be a cold or flu. But no family gatherings. I’m missing my Wednesday beers as well.  But, life goes on.

We’ve not had nice weather yet. I haven’t had the dog in a month. And working at home is just as bad as going to work. However, I think my co-workers are only putting in a few hours a day at best.

I hope things are looking up down your way. Have people taken the message to heart and staying home?

Be well. I think about you often.

 

It was 7 years ago today we met for lunch. I kissed you. I never wanted to let go.