Month: February 2017

I’d rather live a lie than face the truth

I haven’t posted because I just can’t get the thoughts straight in my head.

Yes, I know what I want, but I fear I am but playing the fool. I don’t know what you want… and I’m guessing you don’t either. Or, at least not clear enough to share.

I was glad you made time to see me. If you hadn’t, I was resolved to just drop out of your life. To me, it is a measure of how important I am (or am not) in your life. But, that raises questions to which I’m not sure I want the answers.

I will always love you. And I know you don’t really understand it…. maybe it is closest to that someone you feel you will always love, even if they are no good for you. The difference, I know you could be good for me, and I think I could be good for you.

But, at last you are there and I am here. And, it looks like that won’t change. I am glad you are following your dreams and happy. You know I will always be just a phone call away.

Meanwhile, my heart wants you and my body misses you. (I’m still waiting for that photo 🙂

So, you haven’t posted for a while either. Be safe, stay happy, and I pray you feel better.

My true love….

What do you want?

As usual, I’ve been selfish and we’ve been talking about what I want, what is ok for me, and what isn’t. You’ve mentioned some things about your upcoming trip. But, I haven’t really asked you what you want.

You still have my love, and I care for you you deeply (that will unlikely ever change). But, dare I ask what you want…. even if unlikely? What is your dream? Do you see us in the future?

I still have that silly fantasy that someday you will want to be in love and maybe with me.