Month: April 2016

You can do anything you want. You were always good enough for me.

You tell me you are unhappy and lost, but you must be happier being lost there than being here with me. And yes, you have that option to come home. But if nothing I say can change it or make it right again…..

Do you believe I don’t think enough of you, or that I’m too critical? Maybe you need to create that distance, just as I should stop forgiving you. I feel you would be happier if I were angry and left you alone so you wouldn’t need to feel guilt about leaving me.

I know you said you are not coming back…. but then you write you want to.

It is never to late to love someone. I’m sorry if you feel that my feelings about you are reflected in that song you sent. I did my best to support what you wanted, even if I didn’t want it. And, no, I didn’t want you to leave. And no, I didn’t want you to shut me out of your life.

Your reply had me feeling so bad…. feeling like I make you feel bad about yourself. I haven’t looked at your Facebook page since my birthday. I looked today…. am I the mistake you cut from your life? It that how you feel about me?

My simple plan was to just love you.

I’ve been lonely, I’ve been waitin’ for you
I’m pretending and that’s all I can do
The love I’m sendin’
Ain’t makin’ it through to your heart

I could start dreamin’ but it never ends
As long as you’re gone we may as well pretend
I’ve been dreamin’
Straight from the heart

I meant every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant
That I love you forever

Oh, how can I forget you, girl, when there is
Always something there to remind me
If you should find you miss the sweet and tender love we used to share
Just go back to the places where we used to go and I’ll be there
Oh, how can I forget you, girl, when there is
Always something there to remind me
Always something there to remind me

I was born to love her and I will never be free
You’ll always be a part of me ’cause there is
Always something there to remind me

I just miss you.

It would have been fun to have you with me. You would have had fun.

It was a long, lonely, drive home

1 Comment:

her 4/8/2016 04:49:03 am
I am no longer allowed to have fun. I am lost…..

Two years ago today, after lunch in a noisy sandwich shop, an angel kissed me. I tried to hold on to her ever since. But, some people are not meant to stay in your life. I can only hope that some day she comes back into my life. She will forever be in my heart.

Be well, take care of yourself first, and if you can make someone smile – do it.

1 Comment: her 4/7/2016 06:03:33 am

That made me cry….

Two years ago an angel entered my life. She saved me. For the first time in a long time, I had hope. There was a real, open and honest, connection. Maybe the timing was wrong, and maybe it wasn’t meant to last, but an angel none the less saved me.

She dared to dream, even as she struggled. She shared her dreams, and I fell so deeply in love with her that I would do whatever I can to make her dreams come true. Even if that was packing her up to move away from me, helping write her resume and cover letters, and even saying good bye as she moves on.

For, I am grateful for the time she was in my life, and I can only hope that someday she will be in my life again. And, if she never is, she taught me hope and love again. Something I thought I would never have, but now I have hope for every day.

Thank you my angel.

I wish I could rescue you. I wish you wanted to be rescued.

I thank you for the offer to speak with me, but I didn’t see your message until late afternoon, and frankly, I didn’t want to fall apart at work. Even your message brought in a wave of feelings I was not expecting.

I still love you and you will always have a special place in my life. If you ever need anything, I hope you will ask. It is not worth being stubborn or thinking you would be a bother – you know I will be there for you if you need me.

You are not a failure or loser to me. You are a kind and caring woman trying to find her way.

​Best always.