Dearest ******,
you have asked me time and time again how I could love you, how I fell in love with you, and why I love you. So, here is your answer.
It is sometimes ugly and raw, and sometimes sexual. But it is honest and from my heart. This is how I fell in love with you and why I love you so.
It started with your deep dark eyes that have a bit of devil in them, and a bit of sadness. Your eyes are a window to your soul, and you have not hidden any of your soul from me. Another first trait that made me attracted to you is your resiliency and upbeat attitude in the face of adversity. You were not afraid to share your cancer test and results before we were friends. Did you know then that I cared? Were you that open with every one that came to your teller window.
To set the record straight, I asked you out three times. The first time I was at your teller window on a Tuesday at 4:00 and told you I was out of work early to go grab a beer. You said you were getting done work as well. I asked if you wanted to join me for a beer. I don’t think you really understood I was asking you out. I was probably not clear and said something like “you should come get a beer with me”. I then worked up the courage to friend you on Facebook and asked you out again. I asked if you had time to get a drink before you left on vacation or if you wanted to get a drink when you came back. You missed my message. I felt you were simply being polite and ignoring my request so as not to hurt my feelings and have to directly say no. When you returned from vacation, I was really down on myself. I had lost a friendship due to my past, and was feeling especially lonely. Your message out of the blue really brightened my mood and I jumped on the opportunity to ask you out again. I’m glad I did.
We went to lunch and I was so nervous and a bit scared. I couldn’t read you. I didn’t know if you were just being your typical friendly self, or if there was a chance. Your kiss drew me in. OK. I know you are going to say I kissed you, but you know I was going to shake your hand. I figured it may take two or three casual dates to work up to a kiss. (And you really know how to kiss well!)
We talked, and I learned about you- about some of the struggles in your life and your work ethic and personal history. I was so enamored of your strong will and personal responsibility ethics. One of the hardest things for me to do was to disclose about my past. I knew I had to tell you to have any real possibility of a friendship or relationship. I really expected you to say good bye – as nearly everyone else in my life has done. Your power of “forgiveness” of my past, but also of those that offended you in the past, really cemented to me how special you are.
As time went on and we dated, I learned so much about you – the things that always made me like you more. Your family values, your struggles when married, and divorced. How much you love (and how quickly as well). You contacted me nearly every day, starting with good morning and then texting and chatting throughout the day. The Sunday we spend together going on a bike ride and then spending the afternoon/evening together brought me closer. Your sexual appetite and willingness are more than a turn on, they made me believe we could be compatible.
You’re not afraid to talk about sex, what you want, or what you enjoy. You were also willing to accommodate my desires. That felt like a sign of love.
So here is my list:
- Deep brown eyes
- Strong personal responsibility ethic
- Perseverance
- Resiliency, that never give up attitude
- Forgiveness
- Sexy attitude
- The heat I feel come off your body when I’m next to you
- Your smile, even when you are sad
- Your honesty – brutal honesty
- How you don’t need me (or NEED anyone), so if you are talking to me, it’s because you want to.
- Your sexual wild desires
- Openness – you don’t close up or close off
- How you maintain yourself as an individual
- How easy you are to talk with
- How nicely you fit in my arms
- How you love – yes love – those you care about
- How selfless you are, giving yourself to help others (Gwendolyn, your sons, your mom and **, and even at work)
- How you call me and ask questions that you don’t really need me to answer
- Your history – that you were a *********, that you raised two sons, that you take care of yourself.
- Your past – that almost every man in your life has failed you – and how much I don’t want to be a failure of a man any longer
- How you tease me – and push my buttons, and challenge me.
- constantly texting and chatting and talking with each other – sharing.
But mostly, how you make me feel cared about and loved. I have to say, the weekend with Gwendolyn really felt like we were together. It was how I imagined being with you should always be.
